"Mom, Roll That Shit"

In the year of 2008 I was able to have a greater relationship with my best friend, my mother. Everything was were i wanted it to be, for example i had my own apartment, a good job working in a law firm, and single. Being that everything was just "perfect" in life i decided to experiment more. That was the year i began to have a total disregard for responsibility, drink heavy and smoke marijuana.There would be little get together in my apartment beginning sometimes on Wednesdays all the way till Sunday mornings. I would take Sundays to relax maybe regain energy from the hangover. My house would be riddled with bottles of Hennessy, Vodka, Malibu and blunt wrappers, it looked like a fraternity house.

One day at work my mother decides to call me and tell me that she going to be at my apartment because she had mail going over there and she needed something that was important. Probably wondering, what's wrong with that? 
The problem with that is my mother had a spare key to my apartment just in case there was ever an emergency. With all the paraphernalia that was laying around having her randomly go over wasn't the greatest of ideas. I was thinking of a way of diverting her to go over, at least for that moment. Maybe if i could get home first then her and clean up it wouldn't be as bad. But that is your apartment was does it matter what you do. You pay the bills.
Again you might be correct but no matter what you do in life you still hide certain things from your parents no matter how old you are, either out of fear or respect you have for them. I quickly came up with an excuse to my boss so that i could leave home early. To late.
She was already there sitting on the couch in my living room with a blunt wrap on the coffee table.
"Mami." i said.

Blunts and Wheelchairs

This one night at home alone I decided to call up my delivery man and get a "twenty sack" of some fine grade marijuana, Sour Diesel. Sat right in front of my big screen tv grabbed my Playboy magazine with Linsdy Lohan on the cover and crushed it. I had recently got these clear wrapping paper that I wanted to give a try. I bumped into them in a SoHo smoke shop one night after work actually looking for the Playboy Magazine in which I was crushing on.I had Wiz Khalifa's mixtape, Kush & O.J. on, just relaxing not really giving much care to the world.

Everyone has a little ritual or just something that they do constantly before or during their smoking session. For some odd reason I like to text or tweet when I smoke. I actually on purpose look for someone to text before I light up the blunt. That and I also love to listen to old 90's hip-hop music. I wouldn't even consider that a ritual now that I think about it, it just happens. A lot.

In the middle of this smoking session I get a call from my mother telling me they were cleaning out my great grandmother's apartment who recently died in December of 2011. They had this electric wheelchair which they were planning to sell but just didn't have anywhere to place it for the mean time. Guess who got stuck with an electric wheelchair in their house. So they brought it through and it sits in my living so everyone who comes over can ask and I would have to repetitively tell the story. But this one night I thought it would be funny since I was already high off that Sour Diesel to go downstairs in it and get my munchies. The mind of a mad man. On the way back up to my apartment I thought it would even be funnier to record myself. And here it goes!