Asshole Chronicles: The E-Break-Up

Asshole Move #23: Sending an e-mail to break up

Cleaning out my e-mail account i ran into something i forgot i even wrote. A copy of a break up letter that i had sent to a girl that i was going out with senior year of high school. The worse part is not even that i sent her an email breaking up with her but it was a t-mail, from my sidekick.

I met her through one of my friends that i had 3rd to 4th period math class with. She was a live wire, i mean she really kept me on my toes. I'll never forget that first night we spoke on the phone she was actually having an argument with her ex.
"Hold on, my ex is on the other line bothering me." is what she would tell me. I thought it was crazy but it excited me. The first time speaking to her and she was already opening up to me, telling me about her past relationships and experiences with men. Her strategy was to be completely honest with me and in return i was going to do the same.

The El ExXx Pt. 1

I remember this one summer where I worked at a cell phone store. I thought it would be a easy and laid back part time job since I was so into gadgets and cell phones. But I was wrong, the customers at that location were ruthless. They would give me this ridiculous quota that i would have to meet at these outrageous deadlines. That didn't taint my spirit; i was able to make the most of it and meet a lot of interesting people. For example there was this old lady that would go and pay her granddaughters phone bill who was in Binghamton University. She would sit down with me and talk about how her granddaughters'  education is important, she paid for her phone bill because she knew that she will become a successful accountant.
That old lady one day came and brought me a Brugal straight from the Dominican Republic. Told me "I won't be able to enjoy it as much as you would." All she wanted was just someone to talk to.



It was a hot Sunday afternoon, me and two of my other co-workers were scheduled to work that day. The day dragged on and on with such hot weather. Being in a Cell Phone Store was not how i wanted to spend it but you have to do what you have to do. It wasn't till she walked in. Long legs, tall, bright red lipstick, matte black bob hair and thick, I wanted it. First thing that i thought was she is out of my league. I was gazed into her Paul Smith aviator sunglasses and i kept thinking what i would do to her if she would just let me put my lips on her.


SLAM!

I quickly snapped out of it when she tossed her broken pink Motorola Razr on top of that counter. "Excuse me. Hi. Fix this." she said with an attitude. I picked the device up which was clearly smashed with a cracked screen and scratches over the body.
Smiling i said "This is a cell phone store this phone here needs a church." She wasn't having it.
"I need this phone. My life is on this phone."
I try to calm her down because i could clearly see she was annoyed; a broken cell phone and this hot weather wasn't really helping much either. But i couldn't stop staring at her lips and cheek bones, she was built to stomp on a mans heart. I told her in my most smoothest voice "This cell phone store can't help you but I get off in an hour and i have this old phone and great condition that you can borrow."
Thats when she lifted me off my feet with that smile, she got closer to my face and said "Fix. My. Phone!"

As we looked around in the incasing we had in the store she saw nothing of her interest and she was getting more aggravated. She then out of a spurt just turned around and walked away. Just like that, without saying a word or even a notice. My co-workers and i looked at each other and just laughed. The hour was up and it was time to close shop, right after closing the store and saying my goodbyes to my co-workers, she approaches me from out of left field.
"Which is this phone that you can let me borrow?" she asked with a little girl voice.