"I fucking hate your guts. I'm tired of this shit. All you do is hang out at work and you are never come home. What are you doing?" She screams at him while digging her fingers into the temple of his head.
He jumped up from the chair and grabbed her by the wrist, "I swear if you do that to me again"
She cut him off, "You going to do what?" She began to mock him "You ain't going to do shit. So take your damn hands off of me and sit yo' ass down."
He slowly loosened his grip and turned around to walk away.
"That's all you do. You walk away from me. That's why you fucked up the way you are. Are you hearing"
The ambulance speeds down the streets wailing the siren. He sits impatiently by the side yelling at the paramedics, "Help her! She is bleeding!"
One of the paramedics pushes him aside with the little space they have in the back of the ambulance. They had her hooked up to the IV while trying to keep her conscious. The machine which she was hooked up to monitor her life was lighting up and screaming. "She is convulsion, she is convulsing." one of the paramedics yells to the other as her body jerks up.
They took the air supply out of her mouth and begin to give her CPR. "What's happening to her!?" he grabs one of them by the arm.
"Sir, we need you to keep calm." the paramedic commands him.
The life line started began to slow down the jumps, almost sounding like trucks backing up. And before his eyes it just flattened and it made a loud annoying noise. The noise which echoed throughout the whole ambulance. But the paramedics didn't give up they kept pumping on her chest and trying their best. They finally made it to the hospital where two doctors waited at the ER dock to open the door and rush the gurney in. He franticly follows them inside and begins to hassle the doctor, "Is she going to be okay?"
The doctor ignored him as he directed his nurses what to do. He got irritated that he wasn't paying him any attention, he then pulled him by the arm. "Listen, this is my wife! Tell me something!" he screamed at him.
The doctor looked him in the eye, "We are going to do our best." He nodded to one of the nurses which then escorted him to the waiting room. She tried to comfort him by telling him how the doctors will try their best and bringing him coffee, the tactics you would do to calm down a kid.
Sitting in that was the worse feeling in the word, he would almost compare it prison, except his life isn't the one being tested. Pacing back and forth, the anticipation grew. He would approach the nurse at the front desk every so often to see if there was any news. With a stone cold face she would shake her head. He felt so helpless, she was feet away and yet he could do nothing. There wasn't a magic potion or rewind button. Nothing. Just hope.
He slouched into the uncomfortable chairs they tortured people with, like the pain of a loved one in the hospital wasn't enough. His head was kicked back, the groan from the vending machine soothed him to sleep.
"What are you having?" a low gentle voice asked him. It awoke him, but he wasn't annoyed, it was more like a loving awake. The kind you get from your mother saying your name over and over and rubbing on your forehead type of awake. He looked up rubbing his eyes to see a preacher. "Sorry for awaking you my son. I thought you were awake."
"It's okay." he replied still half asleep. "What is it you were asking me?"
"What are you here for, my son?" he asked so gentle, as a curious lonely child.
"My girl." he stopped short, "I mean, my wife, she is injured. Badly. She had an accident."
"May God bless her. But why is it I feel something else bothering you, my child?"
He cocked one of his eyebrows up, "What do you mean?"
"I feel something else worries you. Something more than her just being here."
The preacher looked him right in the eyes, they were warm dark eyes. He looked around to see who else was hearing, "If I tell you, it would only be between us, right?" The preacher nodded his head.
"Come along my child. To a more quite place." he then lead him to the church inside of the hospital. It was cold, with high ceilings, stone arches, and the plated glass windows of the saints looking over. The place was empty and dimly lit, you could actually see the flickers of the candle flames. The preacher escorted him towards a bench in the center right. "Speak to me, what bothers." There he goes again with that soft voice that put a warm blanket over my shoulders, it made me feel safe.
He cleared his throat, "Where should i even start?" he said scartically trying to make it sound like he had a hell of a story to tell.
"Start from the beginning." The preacher said grinning and then patted his knee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It all began about 5 months ago when he got a new job working at a financial firm. They were having a rough patch in their relationship because she felt as though she wasn't contributing enough, whether it be with the bills or the relationship. At the beginning, the job would take ample amount of her time, working extra hours just to get a couple of extra dollars. She wanted to prove to herself, as well him that she can do it. But when he got his big break and her job wasn't giving her enough hours, the only way to show her desperation was through anger and despair. While at home waiting for him to get out of work, she would clean the whole house, left it spotless. She would then slave over the stove making all types of his favorite foods. But slowly he began to come home later and later, until he once got home at 5 in the morning.
She was furious, not with anger but with doubts.
What could he be doing? Who works in an office so late? Am I not attractive anymore that he doesn't want to come home. Maybe he is at someone else's house.
This new job opportunity meant the world to him. The fact that he could share it with the person he loves the most, was perfect. He knew that everyday she felt less confident in herself because of the bills. This was a gift, it was on the route he needed for his career and he could finally get his girlfriend everything and anything she most desired. But even when you are on the path to success you must still work hard, even harder than before because of sustaining and developing the success. We crave for more, we don't just want the house in the hills we want the one on the beach with three cars in the front. And to acquire all of that takes harder work. Things were going smooth but he wanted the big corner office. So he knew he had to do the things that the other partners didn't want to do, that entitled staying late and finishing up paperwork. Until the boss noticed his efforts and gave him his own accounts. Now that meant he had to do the account of the person he was working for and then his own. He was swamped but he knew that there will be great rewards at the end of this tunnel.
One night working late he gets a phone call from her, asking him when he will get home? It's one of those phone calls that annoys you not because of the question but because you feel that if they didn't ask, then maybe you would be done quicker and then you can spend time with them. But instead you are on the phone sidetracked. Monroe, the boss's executive assistant was about to leave when she noticed him hunched over his desk tapping away at his computer looking over piles and piles of paperwork. She walked over and to see what he was still doing there late. He jumped up when she tapped him on his shoulder, "I didn't know there were other people here." he said trying to catch his breath.
Monroe wasn't really much to look at, she had gaps in between her teeth, untamed hair which seemed like it hasn't been dealt with in months, and she was lanky. But she carried herself very well, she knew she was in a place of business where major accounts were handled, so she still made sure that her clothes were dried cleaned every week, she had 12 or more outfits to wear and a new pair of stockings everyday. With the money being made in that firm there was no room for slackers, you have to dress to impress to mimic success which later manifests. (you can't steal that, I just made that up)
Tip toeing inside of the house she was waiting. Still awake and furious. While he was at the office stressed, counting numbers all day she was at home worried, counting the time. They argued till the sun came up. They eventually went to sleep cuddled up, they wanted to say more but being so exhausted didn't let them. Fours hours later he would get up and get ready to go back to work, this went on for awhile. He sometimes had to go in on weekends just so the work would be done for Monday. The nights got colder and lonely, he was nose deep into paper work and she was hugging herself at night as the other side of the bed was cold. She would call her friends to keep her company but they had better things to do. The void of having someone to hold, care and pay attention to started to whither away. All that settled in was jealously, insecurities, and depression. Some people in the world long for love and companionship, its hard when you finally find that one person who finishes your sentences, that no matter how you felt they knew some how to put a smile, they were someone who was your supporter, cheerleader and best friend. You could be million miles away and if you was just to see their text saying that they missed you or a simple hello, you knew that there was somebody to go home to. People have a misconception of love and think its someone who completes you and thats wrong because even family can turn their back on you. You need someone who understands you, was a friend first, and some one who wants you to be your own person, love yourself before attempting to love another. That is a companion.
A relationship is like Jenga. Yes, Jenga, the little kids game with the blocks and you have to pull one by one without making the whole tower fall.
Picture your relationship like Jenga. While getting to know the person you begin to build and place a block. The more you get to know each other, the more you build with each other. Along the way you put key blocks in your relationship which are communication, trust, and partnership, which goes along with friendship. When one of these blocks are taken from the equation the tower slowly begins to sway and thats when things become rocky. And thats what these two people began to lose, communication. The more distant they got from each other the less they wanted to speak to each other. She then started to lose trust in him so she decided to be spiteful and felt that if he was going to make her feel worried and not trust him, she was going to give him a reason for him to catch his attention.
She later enrolled in a pottery class to keep herself occupied and busy her mind from thinking about him so much, it was always a hobby of hers that she never found time for. Luis, a fellow classmate, one day asked her for some help. Not paying any much attention to it, she helped him. While she was turning the wheel and trying to form the clay to help him, he begins to start a conversation and ask her where is she from and how did she get so good. Nonchalantly, she would answer all of his question and he then started to make his moves.
"So do you have a boyfriend?" he asked with an evil grin. He knew she had a boyfriend because he picked her up one day from pottery class.
"Yes, I do." she replied back with a quick snap.
Why is it any of his business? She got his clay to form to its starting position and she then went back to her station. Sitting down, maneuvering the clay to her liking always made her feel like she had a grip on life. If you was to mess it up you had to handle the situation or should i say the clay a certain way to get it back to how you want it to be. But if it got screwed up you can just get some more clay and start all over again.
Replaying the scenario that just happened, she blushes to herself. She felt a bit of attention and she liked it.
On the other side of town he was still at work. This time Monroe was there helping him with the accounts. As he would input the numbers she would set aside the paperwork in to neat piles to later then make booklets with the correct information. He sighs as he takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes.
"You need to rest your eyes. Come on lets go down and grab a drink." she offered seeing that he was exhausted. It was already midnight and there was no sight of ending.
He then puts his glasses back on, "No, i rather stay here and finish this. I want to get home."
Grabbing him by his arm "You need a break. We need a break."
They headed to a mexican restaurant which was around the office that was open late. After ordering the drinks and an appetizer, she started the conversation asking him how his life was outside of work.
He sighed, "I thought we were on break." he said sarcastically.
"That bad, huh?"
Revealing all of the problems that was surrounding his life outside of the office. Which eventually was taking its toll on his office work. He went the extra length to say that he would rather be at work just so he wouldn't have to go home. At this point the drinks were taking its course, he paid and they headed back to the office. It was either the drinks or the conversation but he felt comfortable around Monroe. Before it was strictly business but he started opening up more. WHile working they spoke about dreams, ambitions, and even their personal life, were he went in and out upon his relationship.
Yawning, the time was four in the morning. Stretching the limbs it was time to go, he turned off all the lights and headed home. To his surprise she was actually asleep.
No argument tonight. He thought to himself, slipping into bed trying not to wake her. But what was really happening is no love tonight.
Don't get me wrong love is a powerful thing, it can blind some and control others. I don't think its hard to control love, its hard to control yourself when you know the love is gone.
Early one morning while he was getting ready for work and she was making some breakfast, his phone alerted him of a new text message. It read
From: Monroe
Can't wait to see you today. Get ready for another night of work.
As her eyes wondered to this message, her blood boils but she kept quite. Putting the plate of breakfast on the table her hands started to shake, she was trying to contain her anger before she exploded. Which she did when he gave her a kiss on the cheek and said his goodbyes. The door closed and the plate of food followed. You could hear her scream from four apartments down, up and side to side. Going into their room she franticly searches in all of his belongings, not having a clue of what to find. But all she does is hopes to find something incriminating to then wail on him.
After causing a mess, she then kneeled to the floor, balls her fist and began to cry. Laying on the floor in the fetal position, she finally gathered some energy to get up and continue her day.
It was only a text message.
You might say it yourself, it was just a text message. Why is she so dramatic? But is she being dramatic?
The only place where she feels distant and in control is at the pottery shop. She went earlier then her class and started to work on a new piece. The wheel spins and she slowly slides her fingers around the clay maneuvering it, controlling it. Her mind is far out but flashes of Monroe and him begin to bring her back. She pictures them hunched over his desk, the wheel spins a little faster. Monroe and him brushing hands as they look over paper work. Gazing into each others eyes. Still trying to control and shape the clay, the wheel spins faster. When she pictures them kissing the wheel was at full speed and the clay slipped out of her hands and spread around the class, right onto Luis shirt.
He jumps back. "Hey!" he screams out in surprise.
She quickly gets some paper towels and tries to help him. "I'm so sorry."
With a big smile, "It's alright. It brings a new look to my shirt. About to make my own brand."
She cracks open a smile and chuckles and quickly tries to disguise it.
"Was that a smile? No, that wasn't. I could of sworn i saw a smile across your face. You should try it more often it suits you very well."
Walking away she couldn't pull down her smile. It shined and brightened up the room. After class Luis walked over and asked her to lunch. He was nice and genuine, she was attracted to his strong, masculine chin. And he had something about his nose that she couldn't put her finger on but it got her curious. In a trance she nodded her head. Walking towards Chipotle he kept talking about himself. But it was nice because it was something different, compared to being asking "how you doing?" and then you just answer back "nothing". She noticed he was a take charge person from choosing the place to eat to choosing a seat, and she loved it.
As the time passed and he kept talking about himself she would daze off and think about times she went to Chipotle. How he would make fun that it was a mexican place but americans would work there and in italian place, like a pizzeria mexicans would work there. She missed him. It wasn't the him she missed but all the times they spent together. The inside jokes. The late nights up just side by side on the couch watching TV, her doing her nails while he flips through the channels. Those are moments you don't just acquire from anyone, that's something you have to bond with someone.
As for him, he was at work, anticipating a moment alone with Monroe. She was someone he could open up to and won't feel the pressure of commitment. It was beginning to be exciting to him those late nights, almost like he was cheating. He was cheating on his girlfriend with work. Or was it with Monroe? As soon as he would enter her presences he would forget about his problems at home. Even with the stress of the accounts he had, he would forget.
For his birthday instead of being at home enjoying the day he was in the office finishing up. Monroe brought him a homemade cake which read "To A Hard Worker" and she even gave him a hallmark card. It had a man in a suit being kissed by a girl holding a cake and inside it said "You are dressed for the job. Happy Birthday!" She then wrote
To the most hard working man that I know,
You deserve it all. Hard work pays off.
Happy Birthday!
Monroe
XOXO
And it was enclosed with a kiss from the bright red lipstick she wears that he once complimented her on. You could see him blush as he smiled from ear to ear, they then exchanged a hug.
"You're welcome." she told him releasing him from the hug. "Now let's go celebrate. Unless you have some where to go?"
She knew he had somewhere to go and so did he. He was hesitant, he quickly glanced at his phone with a message from her, "Are you coming home yet!? Its your birthday!"
And off they went to a classy restaurant that was known for their sushi. The place was nice, it had silk table cloths, with candles and even gave their guests complimentary cigars.
"I'm proud of you. You show so much desire to become the best at your job." Monroe gazed into his eyes while circling her finger around the glass of wine they ordered.
His palms were sweaty and kept twirling the glass, but he kept his cool. "Eh, it's nothing. Whatever i put my mind to. I eventually get."
They carried on their night and while he was having dinner with Monroe, she was at home with a birthday dinner of her own. Which was getting cold. And so was their relationship.
She wanted to surprise him so she clean the house, cooked his favorite dinner, and even bought herself some lengire. The only surprise she got was a text message from him saying he would be late but even his text was late. She blew out the candles and went to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After hearing his story, the preacher put one hand over his shoulder. His head was down and he was weeping , "I don't know what i would do with out her." he said in between sniffles.
"They say you don't know what you have till its gone. But you are stupid enough to let it go in the first place."
He raised his head with a puzzled look on his face wiping away his tears. "So what are you trying to say, that its over? That I shouldn't try anymore?"
"It means, if you still feel like there is hope, my child. Then go after it. It's only gone when you let it go. The only fault i see here is never fighting for it. You told me that you noticed things going downhill. If you noticed things going downhill then why didn't you pick it up, boy?"
He looked at him with self pity. He knew he had something special but he was caught towards what was the big picture.
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