Born into a world of struggle and poverty, I was able to be wealthy with a loving family. Since day one I have never felt neglected. Being the first Grandchild, I was born special. My mother needed a C-section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. I was able to live today to tell you this, surviving a fever of 110°. Heard till this day my mom was barely able to hold me or carry me because of the joy and happiness of my grandmother. My father being the coward and irresponsible person he was, also to mention cold hearted left my 16 year old mother to fend for herself and bear this young child. A child to later carry on the name which held so negative meaning behind it.
Before coming into this world my mother was 15 years old meeting my father going on to be 18 at the time. He worked at the local grocery store, the same store my mother and cousin would go and buy their groceries. To later find out that this young man was supposing very interested in the young lady. My great grandmother being the busy body that she is would give my mother errands knowing that the boy was interested in my mother. As the frequent visits continued, it led to the point were the young man would now be encountered at family gatherings. A year passes and they have grown to each other. But there was a mix, as his uncle who owned the grocery store where the young man worked in was also dealing drugs and using the store as a front. The young man being a little older and wiser, supposively, decided to take his nephew under his wing. Now with juggling work, his lady, and the dealing, slowly it started to put a burden on him and change his face.
Now heavily into the drug game, his own persona changed, he wasn’t the same person at the grocery store, he was now a worker and greedy. Deceiving the drug game and also the young lady, things turned sour as quick as it was “sweet”. Surpassing the limits he later was able to brain wash the young lady into leaving her house, thinking she was going to move out in to a happy home. Was quick to find out of a struggle, that long awaited her. Being young and easy manipulated, the selling of drugs easily consumed him. Both thrown to the streets now living out of a car, he took the young woman for a fool and took her kindness for weakness. Would treat her bad, beat her, and even forbid her from seeing her family. He would treat her as of those the same he would sell his drugs to. He later impregnated her bearing a child with out knowing, things took a dangerous turn.
The man was making a well amount of money, enough for an apartment. But he was gaining power the wrong way, he was hustling his own friends. This went up to the point were they were looking for him. Going to his apartment to harass him, and then find a young lady. They shot her, bombarded the apartment and took what they were looking for. In emergency care she was to find out that she was pregnant and lost the baby. Devastated, enraged and depressed, she didn’t know what to do as things were looking horrible. With a weak mind she returned to the young man thinking he would be able to correct the wrong and comfort her. But he was head over heels with the drugs business and money. Greed had a tight hold of him and was not letting go, knowing all the money he was making. Regaining her physical and mental strength, she was impregnated again, but this time she knew.
She would right her wrongs, she went back to her mother and explained the situation. Her mother told her that there is one person she has to speak to and wanted to see her. Come to find out it was her grandmother. She sat the young woman down and try to build up her mental and spiritual strength to an all time high. All for that to soon be broken.
Walking back to the apartment she sees the man and friends carrying boxes to a car. She walks up to him and asks “What’s happening?”
He answers back “I just need to take these back to somebody I’ll be right back to make sure your ok!”
Still high off the words that her grandmother told her believed him. She then saw him drive off, to later find out, NEVER to be seen again. Walking into the apartment she sees everything gone, pictures, clothes, and what she held very valued to her heart the jewelry. She balled up in a corner and cried and cried until all she can do is just feel sad. Until her body could not produce tears but feel weak. Until her arms and legs felt heavy and all she wanted to do was disappear. Then that feeling sparked and turned into a fire of rage. She got herself up and went back to her mothers’ house. Were they accepted her, but now had to gain trust and respect. Time passed and her guardian was her grandmother, guiding her thru the right and wrongs of life. Letting her know to never let anything get in her way, it’s ok to be weak sometimes but never give into the weakness but learn from it and take it as a lee way into strength.
There was a baby shower for the child. A celebration of not just life, but a celebration of family and that the closeness of those who are close. A month later, on a routine visit, it was shown that the baby had to come out, as he was serving some difficulties. She didn’t want to force the birth, but time was at a value, never the less her contractions where close. Nothing else to do but take her in and give her a C-Section.
A boy came out purple barely alive, from a fever and the suffocation of the umbilical cord. Everyone proud at the young woman to be able to survive, and keep the child. Taking his first breath and able to scream. The first pair of arms he was warmed up by, was the young lady’s mother, the grandmother. The child is then named after the same man who abodoned him and the mother. Naming him this name, she thought that THIS boy would never do what the man did, and WOULD stay around forever to actually take care of her. Treat her right and being a man, not a coward like the previous.
She was right. For the boy today will do anything for that woman, his mother. He was able to learn so much from her. He learned strength, and that you don’t need anyone to keep going in life. That happiness is a factor in life. His mother didn’t only teach him to love himself but to understand what love one another is all about. Being the only child she bared he takes into consideration the fact of space and always being there for her. The same she was always there for him growing up. Going to school and coming home to take care of the child waiting for him to go to sleep and then finish her homework to do it ALL over again the proceeding day, it was tough. With help from her mother, the grandmother, she was able to sustain strength and sanity. Never regretting the birth of the child or even meeting the man for that fact, it taught her a little something about the cycle of love and life. Both mother and son being adults and now able to communicate, are inseparable. She is the first one to call him in the morning and he will be the last one she would hear from at night.
They are not in their own separate ways, going thru their ups and downs along the way. The son without a father figure, the mother no matter how she tries can’t show him how to be a man. Decided to venture and find out what it is to be a man. Looking in the wrong places, he slowly but surely started to follow in the footsteps of the person who had some part in his well being. Greed, drugs, and envy clouded his mind. The same way his own mother was able to find a guardian being HER grandmother, he found his guardian being HIS grandmother. But she wasn’t just any soft spoken guardian. This guardian came with authority, as she found his paraphernalia, drugs and money. That all ended quickly as she put her foot down and made him understand the value of family. That then soon came with the value of the mighty dollar. But she always wanted to teach him that no matter WHAT, she or anyone from the family was going to be there for him. But by that time it was to late, because him being selfish and greedy. The depth of the drug game he was in, it was impossible to leave and not be looked for, especially with all the devious things he had done. But with the strength of his grandmother and the love he had for his mother he left anyways. This didn’t take a pretty turn, the people he left hanging would soon be looking for him. Instead of finding him, they found his mother, and took her life. This was a sign that things weren’t going to be left off the hook so easily. With a burn for vengeance and pain, there was no turning back in what he was going to do.
The boy set out with guns searching for the person who had done this because he was going to leave a personal message. Finding out who it was, there was information that this person actually had kids. The boy went to the cold hearted persons home killed both of his daughters and wife. He left the two girls bloody in their playing area and the wife dead in the kitchen. It was an even draw for nobody wanted to look for one another after that.
It then hit him; he was looking at being the man the wrong way. What he needs to understand that being a man doesn’t mean someone who financially supports the family, but someone who is able to value and love the family. With that in mind he then looked at things in a whole different perspective. BUT with that NOW in mind his grandmother made sure he knows what it is to WORK for his money. So she got him on his feet and MADE him get a job. The boy got a little job and started to gain experience and respect. Thinking things had blown over this is where the world spins a little to fast
Late night at his little job waiting for the custodian to go and clean, the air was tainted with a weird feeling. Two men with all black attire walk up to the kid ask him, “Who are you?”
His response with a question, being dumbfounded “Who am I?”
That’s when the two men pull out guns and end the kids’ life on that dirty floor. All to be found a skinny limp bloody body. Nothing but silence was heard as his dead eyes stared up at the ceiling. It was all gone.
His life, his mother, his family was all gone, all because of one wrong step. He was never to able to really understand a struggle and what his mom went thru for him not to go thru this. But she didn’t even have the chance to enjoy the fact that her child is all grown, she didn’t have the chance to let her child know what a joy and privilege it is for him to be alive and for her to be able to say that’s my SON.
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