Asshole Chronicles: Walk Away

I'll never forget the time that I pulled my first "asshole" move. I was 14 years old and i went on my first date. She was a Junior in High School and we met through my best friends sister, who introduced me to her. She was from a all girls catholic school, petite, short hair, delicate and well mannered. Did it help she was also a freak?
This girl had me talking some of the nasty stuff late night on the phone. She was the one who introduced me to "phone bone".



Now if you don't know what "phone bone" is, it's the time period of first meeting someone and staying up late night on the phone talking. It doesn't necessarily mean talk about sexual acts even though majority of the time that happens later on but it's that late night interaction you have with that someone, when your voice gets low and you flirt back and forth. You tell her how you can't wait to see her and she tells you how she felt when she first met you.

Now remember I was still 14 years old at the time so there wasn't much of grown man activities that I could do, for example pick her up from school and take her for some drinks. I had to be home at a certain time and I had to ask my mother for money because I wasn't working. But these are things that we all experience growing up.
The most I could do to show her I was willing to go out my way for her was cut school to get out early. So I could then meet up with her when she got out of school and then walk her home. That was my version of taking her out for drinks, that walk home.
She was pretty and I loved her laugh. That's why I would try my best to keep making her laugh, just so I could hear her. Another way we would spend time together is schedule a meeting at my best friends house since his sister was her friend. So we would go over and just hang out, they thought it was a coincidence. Little did they know we had priory plan this on one of our "phone bone" sessions.

Now if you are Hispanic then you know going over to someone's house so many times in a row bothers the head of the household or your mother. They feel like you don't need to be over someone else is house when you have your own, "casa ajena". Those meetings were cut off very early, she would still go over and hang out with them. I would feel like such a loser for not being able to go over. But again these are those experience of growing up.
The worse part of not being able to go over is that my best friend would call me later on, "Yo you should of been here, man. We ordered dominos, rented blockbuster movie and just bugged out. What did you do today?"
Now I probably was home all day playing Nintendo 64 but I couldn't tell him that, so I said "Man, I went to playland today with my family."

I finally got some courage to tell my mother about this girl. I told her how much i like her and if it was possible if one night she could give me money so we could go out to a dinner and a movie. My mother is down to earth, our relationship I would say is not like others people, she gave me the ok.

I took her to this restaurant that i loved because it was a mixture of caribbean and chinese food. They had this scrumptious crackling chicken and i would order it with this special caribbean rice which had corn in it and then i would have a side orders of tostones. But that is besides the point.
We were sitting down having a great time, making her laugh. The chino waiter comes and says "Howl ju do-ing? May I chake yo' order?"
I already knew what i was going to order, i was hype so i jumped ahead of her and ordered my food. She looked at me kind of annoyed as to say "That was rude".
I gave her a shrug of the shoulders and a smile of embarrassment. She took a quick glance at the menu and just said "I'll have what he is having."
The waiter took our menus and sped off to the kitchen. She quickly got serious after he left, i thought it was because of the rude gesture I did of ordering first. But that was the least of my problems.

"What's wrong? I'm sorry about ordering over you." is what i told her trying to be sympathetic as possible.
"It's not that." she said and then took a big gulp of water. "Well lately I have been kind of feeling some sort of way. I honestly don't know how to tell you this..."
Before she could finish she was interrupted by the plates being settled down in front of us and the waiter saying "Here iz ya order of rackling chicken wit special 'ried rice an' tostones. Enjoy ya meal."

As much I loved the food from that restaurant and I just wanted to dig I the anticipation of how serious whatever it is she had to tell me room away from my appetite. I took a sip of water and then asked her to continue.
"Well like I was saying, lately I've been feeling some sort of way and I thought I should let you know. But..."
"But what?" I said the anticipation was killing me. I felt like a kid at Christmas counting down the minutes for 11 o'clock.
"But lately I've been talking to your best friend, being that I've been over his house alot and you not that. And I think I'm going to talk to him."

When she said that my head exploded. No literally my head exploded because the next thing I know I got and said "What a bitch! Fuck you and fuck that dude! I'm not even mad that you choose him but you waited for me to take you out to tell me. Take that good crackling chicken and stuff it up your ass!" I got up, took some money out of my pocket and grabbed the plate of food and walked out. But before I left, with the plate of food in my hand I said "I'm taking this food to go and not letting it go to waste because this chicken is the bomb. That's only for my side of the bill, you come up with the rest."

I didn't even give her time to speak or explain. I walked out like George Jefferson with one hand wailing behind my back and the other holding the plate.

Walking away i could just picture her saying, "What an asshole!"

-ART