Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Dying Love


I’ve been with her for two and half years now. That’s along time; I would have never thought I would be tied down for that long. I must admit, I have done my share of dirt but I can’t ever leave her. To tell you the truth, those girls never meant anything to me and till this day I can't tell you why. We are fools to think that what is done to others' can't happen to us. Why is it that some men cherish women and give them the respect in which they deserve and yet get their heart broken. While there are other men who treat women with disgust and still able to find the "right ones". All i have to say is karma is a bitch and she waits for no one. And when it's to late we all want to cry or regret. Here’s how the story goes…
            Las Vegas, Nevada, I was there with a "lady friend" I had met on business. Thought maybe I should relax and have fun. I had told my girlfriend that I was going out of town to meet up with some business partners, which is true. I just happen to have done a little something different there.  But it was bothering me, for the simple fact I was doing something I could have done with her and not some random woman. She was nobody to me, especially for me to treat her so well. My conscious weighted heavy so I decided to go back early and surprise her, but before anything I had to get something to take back to her. It wouldn't make up for all the lying and mischief but it was a true token of my love.
             On the plane home I felt like I was meeting her again for the first time because I had butterflies in my stomach. Or maybe it was cause of the plane food. Either way I couldn’t wait to go back. I’ll never forget the day I first met her…
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            It was a cool summer night; I was just hanging out with Supreme and Stacks. We were outside in front of Stacks' building. When I saw her walking down the street towards us. She had long legs, Indian skin complexion with long dark hair and big breast. I’m not the one to yell out or draw attention, but something told me that I had to catch her eye. Very hesitant, the only words that came out my mouth were “Hey! You dropped something!”
            After she turned around and saw nothing, she just flipped me the finger. All you heard were chuckles from Supreme and Stacks. I felt like an idiot; I was never the one for good choice of first words. She probably was thinking i was another "asshole" acting a fool on the street corner. Still determined, I went up to her and apologize for my stupidity. But she wasn't giving me any attention.
"I'm sorry. I really meant to say you dropped my jaw. No, wait. I mean" she cut me off and said "What you need to do is get away from me."
She then walked away and left me with a scent of her perfume, if I'm not mistaken it was Crush.
           
            The next day Supreme felt like going to this new lounge they had opened around the area, it was called Miami Nights. I wasn’t doing much, I was with Stacks eating at a restaurant. So when I got the call from Supreme about the party I had no other choice but to jump on it. We finished eating up, went home, freshened up and met up with Supreme.
Upon entering the lounge, it was flooded with people, and it was humid. We didn't have to make any lines because he knew one of the promoters and even got us a table at the V.I.P. area. He went off to speak to a couple of people and came back really quick with a look on his face like he had found gold.
“Guess who is here?” he asked me.
I gave him a dumb look. “Am I suppose to know?” I told him.
“Yes you should because you're still trying to pick up those pieces of dignity you dropped.” he answered me back.
At that moment, only one person had hit my mind and that was of the young lady from last night. I was talking to Stacks about her while we were eating. Telling him how i wished i had one more chance to make a better impression. We even laughed at my approach, "You dropped something." he would repeat. Who knew that second chance would be tonight. As if karma said "I'm not giving up on you yet."
 Supreme points her out in the crowd, I saw her with a couple of friends dancing in a circle. He then nudges me to go over. But I couldn’t, I was too embarrassed. Stacks just yell out “Hey you! You dropped something again!” mocking me. Both Supreme and Stacks proceed to laugh. Luckily over the music, he couldn’t be heard.
“You two are idiots!” I told them.
Supreme then grabs me by the arm and drags me over to the circle of girls. Standing in front of her she just gives me a look, like "and you are you?" Stacks was always good talking, not just to women but just in general, he always had something to say. He invited them to the V.I.P. area, they all looked at each other and quickly agreed. Oddly enough she didn't seem to recognize me.
 Nervous, while we were all sitting down drinking from the bottles we had ordered I approach and attempted to introduce myself, “Hey! I’m…”
“What!?” she screams out. I was talking low for the environment we were in.
I then spoke in her ear “ Having fun?”
She smiled and just nodded her head. Now usually a girl in this position wouldn't really pay much mind, if anything she just thinks these guys are trying to get into her pants. I poured her a drink and handed her the glass and said "Don't drop this."
She gave me a side eye, my palms got sweaty as i thought to myself does she remember? She grabbed the cup and said "Thank you, asshole." Everyone looked as if the clubbed just stopped and all eyes were on me. All her friends got up to see if everything was OK. I quickly calmed everyone down and fully explained who i was. While i was telling the story, Stacks and Supreme kept looking at each other and then me, they were just hoping i wouldn't scare the girls away.
Laughter is all you heard from the girls. "This is him?" or "It's mister drop it like its hot." Apparently the girl had already told them the story (as i predicted) and they knew exactly who i was now. They didn't care if anything in some freakishly weird way they actually felt more comfortable. Supreme jumped right in and said "Yes ladies, i would like you to meet my friend, Mister dropped-it-lost-it-and-never-been-found." The laughs just kept on rolling and the drinks kept on being poured. We all sat back down and enjoyed the night. She had a little smile across her face.
"You see that's what you dropped yesterday. I'm so glad i was able to pick it up and put it back on your face." talking about her smile. She had a nice set of teeth, it made me wish she would never stop smiling. 
"Is that what you wanted to tell me yesterday?"
"If you let me, maybe i could tell you that for the rest of your life." 
"Smooth. Where is this coming from?"
We connected and continued our night. I don't know if it was karma, luck, God, or love who put us together again but we were inseparable. She had nice eyes and she was glowing all over. The night i left her with an impression that kept us going for two years.
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            The planes wheels touched down, finally back in New York. I had a cab service pick me up since I didn’t want anyone to know that I was in town yet. I had moved out to New Jersey since I’ve been doing well for myself so far. Crossing the George Washington Bridge I could see the city’s skylines, it always reminded me of her. When we first started going out I would take her up to the park where we could see all of New York. 
Approaching the street to where I lived I told him to drop me off at the corner so she wouldn't hear or see me. I got my luggage and proceeded to walk up to my house.
           
            The lights were on so I knew she was home. I got to the front door anxious to open it so I can see her. Dug in my pockets looking for the keys and it hit me I left them in the house. I turned the door knob but of course it was locked. I heard noises of things falling and a struggle, I felt something was wrong. I put my ear to the door but i heard nothing. I stepped back from the house and looked up to see if i noticed anything, and i yelled to try to get her attention but nothing.
I dropped my bags and went off to the back of the house so I can enter through the back door. I saw that the Jacuzzi’s water was steaming; I kept walking and ignored it. Going up to the back door i had intentions of breaking it down because i felt it in my stomach something wasn't right. I tested the knob to see it was open, to my surprise, it was. Thoughts quickly ran in my head of her being in danger. Different scenarios of her being hurt fueled me to find out what was happening. I couldn't bare to think of her in danger, my world as i knew it was coming to a halt. Walking through the kitchen to the living room; a distinctive smell hit me, it was the smell of incenses chased by an aroma of marijuana. In the living room there was open corona bottles left on the coffee table. Did she know i was coming and wanted to surprise me with a romantic night? I thought to myself. I heard something fall again, this time it was upstairs.
Running up the stairs my heart begins to pound, I see some clothes laying on the floor, this was taking a negative turn. Did someone break in and try to rob the house? Did they hurt her? All i wanted to know is if she was OK.
 It looked like there was a struggle. I continued up the stairs and went to my room where I heard the noise coming from. The door was ajar, and I was able to peek through only to find her with another man. 
They were both in bed, in my bed where we slept and made love in. In complete shock and speechless, I slowly backed off. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I sneaking around my own house to my car without making a noise. 
I got in I didn’t know whether to cry or explode in rage. 

            I started to cry uncontrollably; i felt stupid, betrayed, heartbroken, lost, and sad. I actually didn't know how to feel. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but the pain didn't let noise come out from my mouth. The rage didn’t hit me until I put my hands on my thighs and felt something. I took it out and it was the twenty thousand dollar engagement ring that I had bought her out in Vegas. I forgot about it. After the little out lash, I felt a sudden heaviness in my chest, felt like I couldn’t breath.

           
I called the most reliable person I knew who would do whatever and ask no questions, Stacks. He lived five streets down from me.
“Yo! No need to talk. Just get to my house and bring your piece. We have something to take care of.” I demanded
Answering back “I’ll be there in five.”
I quickly responded “I don’t need you here in five, Stacks. I need you now!”
“I’ll be there!” he then closed the phone. Still sitting in my car I looked around in a panic. The rosary on my rear view mirror was dangling; I kissed it and then dug under my seat. Pulled out a pistol was holding for Supreme way back when he had problems with someone from the old neighborhood. I thought I would never have to use it, until now. That’s when I noticed a car slowly pulling up behind me. It was Stacks, getting out of his car holding his gun.
“Where the problem at?” he asked anxious to raise hell.
I responded with “Listen! I snuck in my crib some black dude fucking my girl.”
His mouth dropped but he knew it was time to get serious. “Lets light this place up.” he said. I knew Stacks longer then I knew Supreme that's that I knew he would always have my back. We then proceeded to the side of the house, loaded up the guns. Headed to the back door, when suddenly it opens and both the black guy and my ex-girlfriend were trying to leave. The only words that were able to escape from their mouths were “Oh shit!”

I ran up to the door as they tried to close it. Stacks and i forced the door before they had a chance to and they both fell back. In the moment all I saw was red and what kept playing back in my head is seeing them both in my bed. The guy tried to retreat to the front door, while she was there in her silk robe screaming “Baby I can explain! I can explain!”
BOOM! 
Was all to be heard as Stacks shot off one round. Blood sprays out from her neck. The guy turns around in fear, patting himself checking to see if it was him who took that bullet. The flames of hell rained over me as I saw her take that shot knowing it was for her partner. Her lifeless body dropped to the floor. Stacks was shocked. I raised my gun and three bullet casings flew out of the pistol. 
Boom!
Bang!
Bang!
He was the next one down with his blood smeared all over my front door. His body was hunched over as he took all the bullets in his chest. As i was still standing there with the pistol in hand. I couldn’t believe myself. I couldn't believe i let things get to this point. But what’s done is done, and all I can do now is, nothing. Both Stacks and i stood over there bodies, silence what was being heard, tainted by the distant sound of sirens.
“Yo man! I’m sorry, she got in the way." he said sympathetic, "But we got to leave, the cops is coming. Don’t you hear that!?” he tried to pull me away. After all of this I couldn’t just leave.
“No! I’m staying here.” i told him. Streams of tears started to roll down as I kneel to the floor and  wiped the blood from her face. Stacks didn’t know what to say or do.
“I’m sorry, man! I’m really sorry! I really didn’t mean to.” He was trying to be apologetic. "But I'm out." he ran out the back of the house. Red and blue lights were flashing all over.
I was still on the ground holding on to her dead body. I brushed her hair out of her face.

“I can’t believe it has to end this way. I know I’ve been bad, but I didn’t know.” I said to her trying to explain myself but it was no help. I knew, she knew, everybody knew what I did.
“Come out with your hands up!” was heard over the bullhorn.
More and more tears, I couldn’t help it. I held her body close to me, as I wish I can hear a heart beat or feel her warm breath, but nothing. I was angry at myself for letting it get this far. I yelled up at the ceiling “Why!?” but of course there was no answer.
“We’re giving you to the count of five to come out with your hands up!”
I dug into my pockets and pulled out the engagement ring. I take it out the box.
“You dropped something” I told her.
“Five!”
I then put the ring on her finger. All I felt was a lifeless hand.
“I know this is sudden and everything. But I thought we’ve been together for so long...”
“Four!”
“But… But will you marry me?”
Of course I didn’t get an answer. But I assumed she would say yes.
“Three!”
There was nothing else to say or do. From coming home to surprise my soon to be wife to a murder scene. I picked up my gun and held it tight in my hand.
“It's now or never, buddy! Two!”
At that moment I kissed her, blood was on my lips. Prayed for a second and then said “Amen”
“One!”

I put the gun to my head, cocked the hammer and met her.

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